You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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