Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
