I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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