is your mom at the bar?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
