The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
