She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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