I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
