Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
