I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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