used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize