I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
