I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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