i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
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Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
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I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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