My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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