I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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