I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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