can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
