there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
