Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
