Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
