just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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