i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
