She said her name was "party"
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
