lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
