apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Houston, we have a squirter
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
