tell your sister to shave her snatch
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
