sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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