ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.