Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.