What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
