is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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