Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
