if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He better not be in your backpack
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
