I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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