I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
