Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
