Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
