I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Less talking, more tequila
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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