He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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