You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
