is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
