I wish life had little blips of pornography
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
