Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize