So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
