hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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