I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
