We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
