I'm going to jail i love you
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
