I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
