Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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