Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
