But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
