eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
