Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
