Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
