They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
