i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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