i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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