Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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