textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize