She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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