We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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