was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
