Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
