i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
