hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
