When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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