you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Fuck appropriateness.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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