do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
