Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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